Shifter's pride
by Pyradeath
Summary: Seras is bored and Alucard teaches her a lesson. Humor and romance with an interference by Pip to come in later chapters. Heavy AXS. Rating may go up.
1. Shifter's Pride

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing, I don't own anything but this plot, if it can be called such.

If you review, I may continue. Oh, I also borrowed the type of creature from FATE, the game.

It's called a nightstalker, though I altered the colors and added some stuff.

_-Seras's thoughts _**Alucard's thoughts**

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Boredom. That's what Seras decided this all was. Boredom. Plain and simple. Of course her master Alucard just _**had**_to read her mind and just _**had**_ to come and suggest a lesson. This was why they were currently in the forest surrounding the Hellsing manor, listening to her masters burning voice tell her how to do it.

"There is a spot in your mind, like a door that hides your familiar. If you can open that door, then you will automatically shift. Our familiars are not wounded by the sunlight, therefore, I forbid you from entering the manor until you shapeshift. Call me with your mind when you can."

She sighed, knowing quite well that she would dissapoint her master. _Well, at least I think he's sexy when he's angry._ She thought to herself, not really knowing when she'd fell in love with her master, but she knew she had. _I'd might as well try._ So, she focused, and struggled to find the 'door in her mind'. After an hour and a hellish headache, she still hadn't succeeded.

She laid down, letting the nocturnal sounds of the forest ease her headache. She went through her thoughts for today, sorting through them as she always did, and hit something. It was familiar, but she'd never really noticed it before. She decided to press through it, and was rewarded with...absolutely nothing.

She sighed softly, and rolled over to get up off her back, and discovered that she couldn't stand on her feet. She put her hands on a nearby oak to help herself up, when she suddenly froze. Suddenly a tiger-like creature's roar was heard.

_MASTER, I'M STUCK!!!_ She sent to her master, panicking.

**Uh-huh. Sure. Maybe if you actually shift, you can get out.**

_That's just it! I think i'm some kind of cat-thing, but I can't go back to me!_

Her master's laughter echoed in her head. **Go to the pond in the westernmost clearing. Get a good look at yourself and imagine yourself turning into what you normally look like. **

She grumbled to herself, and walked from the eastern gates towart the northwestern clearing. She stumbled at first, but soon became used to the way her new muscles moved. _I can't believe I actually enjoy this. _

Finally she was there, and discovered her master sitting on a small island in the middle of the lake, and stopped to take a look at herself. _Wow, _she thought_, I'd totally be scared if that wasn't me._

She had the body of a tiger, but without the hanging sack. Her fur was black as night with sky-blue striping and a golden cresent moon on her forehead. Muscles were toned and seemed to be a part of her instead of an addition as it was normally. Two curved, thick fangs hung over her top lift just bearly brushing her chin and two coming from her bottom lip to her top which brushed her black nose. Her ears were like a rotweiler's and she had black dragon's wings with bull-like horns and spikes down her spine.

**If you are quite done admiring yourself, I'd like to see a close up.**

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review this story for me to continue. Can you critique me and give me advice? Thanks, Pyradeath01


	2. to like or not to like

Disclaimer: Same as last time. Thank you DyanneRawr, I will make sure to include a bit more setting. Thanks for the review RandomRomantasist. Oh, and for all you readers, I require at least one review for chapter to update, because I don't want to waste my time if no one is reading.

_Seras's thoughts_

**Alucard's thoughts**

* * *

_Oh, Sorry master! _She swam over to the tiny green island, which was really a few boulders with a heavy coat of moss, lichen, and a small pine tree. Once she climbed on the island, her familiars claws making and easy rise, she shook herself, sat down in front of her master, and shifted back.

Once she was shifted, she excitedly asked, "Did you like my familiar? Huh?" If she hadn't been sitting down, she proboably wouldv'e danced.

Her master looked her up and down, then gave a perverted leer. "Oh yes, I enjoyed it. I believe it is known as a Nightstalker Demon. I enjoy the sight before me as well."

She cocked her head to the side, about to ask what he meant, and then a breeze blew. Her body went as white as newly fallen snow, and her face turned as red as Alucard's coat. For a moment she was confused- should she like the fact that her master liked the way she looked or should she be totally pissed off that he didn't tell her that she'd end up without clothes. She chose the latter and screeched. Her master laughed and tossed her her Hellsing uniform. After screaming at him about what a horribly perverted man he was, her master bent down and whispered two words. "Like it."

He chortled, and she walked away from him...and right into the fridgid, icy, brackish water of the lake. He roared in laughter, and she leapt up and hugged him, effectively soaking him.

**Now why do that, Police girl?**

She snorted. _To prove that you need to teach me how to reform clothes._

He nodded. **Next week.**

Then he created a portal, taking them to the basement of the manor.

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Next story will be called Reformer's Pride. This will be a series of a teaching chapter, and then an aftermath. Tell me which powers you want me to teach! If you don't review, you don't get a story.


	3. Reformer's Pride

Disclaimer: Owning Hellsing seems to be an impossibility, as according to thier files, I am basically a non-threat, therefore I'm not allowed to try to take over. I do own this plot.

Thanks again DyanneRawr, I really do need people to tell me what powers they'd like Alucard to teach Seras. However, I will never write about the third eye thing. It's just too used.

"What did say, Police Girl?"

"I said...?"

Alucard grinned maniacly from his throne. "I didn't quite get that. So strange that you say I'm a horrid teacher and the next week you come asking me from something. Slow it down."

"Will you teachmehowtoreformclothes?"

He sighed theatrically. "Well...I suppose I may just be able to....on one condition of course."

She came out of her turtle-in-shell stance to cock her head to the side in a manner that he found simply adorable-though he'd never tell her. "What's the condition?" She asked wairily.

"Oh," He almost sang, "just a little thing. Nothing really."

Now she was curious. And you know what they say about curiosity and the cat. "C'mon master, tell me!" She bounced on the balls of her feet, and looked as if she was tempted to jump on his lap and give him her famous kitten eyes if that's what it took.

He motioned her closer. She moved forward until her knees were brushing his. He tugged her down and whispered something in her ear. "Oh master," She laughed out, falling in his lap. "I love it." She cackled, mirroring his own insane grin.

----------------------------------------------------------------------LATER THAT NIGHT---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Pip, could you come here for a moment?" The little vampiress asked, giving the deadly kitty eyes.

His eyes lit up, hoping for a chance with his 'little mignonete'. "Oui, mon cheri. Wherever you wish, Pip Berdonette zhall follow."

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Want me to continue? REVIEW OR I WON'T!!!!!!!! *EVIL, INSANE LAUGHTER*

Alucard: C'mon worthless humans, I want to f*ck my fledgling allready.

Seras: Still not sleeping with you.

Alucard: Who says we're gonna _sleep_ in my coffin?


	4. Of drunkenness and deals with the devil

Disclaimer: Ain't ownin' no Hellsing by me. I got this idea from RandomRomantist999 -thank you, 'cause I was having writers block.

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"Ah, my little mignonete, what can I, a humble mercenary do for you?" Pip asked, following her into another room.

"Well, Pip, Master said that I couldn't do anything- even get drunk correctly. So, I'm taking that as a challenge to my ability." Seras said, batting her eyes at him.

"Zo, 'ow can I help, cheri?" The mercenary asked, now befuddled.

"Pip?"

"Oui?"

"I challenge you to a drinking contest."

At that the mercenary laughed so hard that he fell down. When he'd finally calmed down, he said- or, rather, panted- "Ze mignonete cannot truly expect to win this contest."

Her eyes turned red. "Oh, Pip," She began, letting her fangs show, "I intend to." She forced her eyes back to blue and then said, while batting her eyes yet again, "Besides, since you're so sure of yourself, don't you want to name a prize?"

She turned and walked to the bar, swinging her hips.

The mercenary sat beside her. "I win, I get to deflower you. Deal?"

She nodded. "Deal. And _when_ I win- because I will win- You have to do whatever I say for the next night regardless of the consequenses."

He grinned, sure that he'd win.

*********************************************************ONE HOUR LATER*****************************************************************

"Oi, mignonete. How manny *hiccup* bottles of *hic* whisky have we drinking?" Pip dropped in a laughing fit. "Whisky, whisky, whisky- such a funny word."

Seras rolled her eyes. "Pip we've only drank one each. I used to be able to drink five even as a bloody human. How did you expect to win on this one?"


	5. Of Rewards and Punishments

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing (sobs uncontrollably) but I do own this plot and any romance that ensues.

A/N I'm so sorry I haven't updated lately. It's just been that I've had a ton of exams and I've just gotten over being sick.

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The huge mercenary groaned under his hangover. He rolled over, expecting to see Seras beside him, but didn't. He wondered at this curiosity and then remembered something. She had won. He put a single hand on his hand and groaned again, looking outside. He nearly jumped at the sight- why, it was night! The shock faded to horror as he realized exactly what he owed her. _"You have to do anything I want for a night- regardless of the consequenses."_

He sighed and took a shower. He knew he'd have to sober up for tonight in order to survive.

Once he was fully dressed again, Pip opened his door...only to find a certain little fledgling waiting for him.

"'Ello mignonete. What's your challenge?"

She grinned. "Why to tell Master I've won. And, also to tell him that he's an a**hole for telling me I couldn't."

He wilted. "Oh, mignonete, do you want me to die? 'Cause your master's gonna kill me."

She just smirked. "Master and I had a side bet. You won't be killed. Go."

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Pip's POV

* * *

I walked down to the lower levels of the basement, letting ze mignonete tell me where to go with 'er mind. As I walked to my own exicution, I wished that I hadn't made that damned bet. Suddenly, I was there, in front of a door with a red pentagram. Parts of it looked too dark to be paint. I didn't want to think about what it was.

Just as I was about to knock, ze doors opened on zer own, and ze infamous vampire Alucard said only one word. "Enter."

I walked in. "Eh, Ze mignonete, she wanted me to tell you two things."

"Oh?" He asked cocking his head in that creepy manner that made me cringe and wish for France.

"Oui. Ze first was to tell you zat she won ze bet against me."

"Ah." He said calmly. "So frenchman, what is the second thing?"

"Well, she told me to tell you zat you were an asshole for telling her she couldn't."

His eyes flashed red in his dark room. I ran like ze hounds of hell were after me- which they proboably were. I was relieved when I'd seen the light of the hallway. Seras met me there. "He said he'd give me my reward. Thank you Pip!"

I sighed, hating it when I fell for sexy women. "Anytime, mignonete. Anytime."

* * *

Pip: I 'ad to be involved in zis _why_?

Me: 'Cause I like you even if Seras doesn't.

Pip: Eh, you are no mignonete.

Me: Pulls one of Alucard's guns out of his belt and shoots Pip in the...male items. Yeah, but I'm the Queen Bitch here.


	6. A boat in the lion's den

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing, only this plot. Nor do I own 'I'm on a boat' by 'The Lonely Island'

Author's Note: It feels as if it has been forever since I updated, and it proboably has been to some of you faithfull readers. I have had financial, emotional, and belief issues. I have had little or no time to update, and so I must beg your forgiveness, mein frauliens. I have read all of your reviews, and after listening to them and listening to a song called macadamia by animania. Here is what may or may not be the last chapter. Thank you so much.

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"Now how in the world did you get the frenchman to do that, hmmm? I wouldv'e thought he'd value his own skin over a simple bet." Alucard's eyebrow was raised at his fledgling who sat in front of him, across his table. She'd transported her own chair down there and they were doing thier usual- having a breakfast of cold blood, and irritating each other.

Then a phone went off. "Crap! We stole the Judas Priest's phone!"

Alucard grinned. "I know."

They both laughed, but abruptly stopped as they heard the lyrics to Father Alexander Anderson's ringtone.

_(Shawty) Aww shit_

_Get your towels ready it's about to go down (yeah, shawty)_

_Everybody in the place hit the fuckin deck (yeah, shawty)_

_But stay on your motherfuckin toes_

_We runnin this, let's go_

_[Chorus (T-Pain)]_

_I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)_

_I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)_

_Everybody look at me cause I'm sailin on a boat (sailin on a boat)_

_I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)_

_I'm on a boat_

_Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin boat (boat, yeah)_

_[The Lonely Island (T-Pain)]_

_I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me_

_Straight floatin on a boat on the deep blue sea_

_Bustin five knots, wind whippin at my coat_

_You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat_

_Take a picture, trick (trick) I'm on a boat, bitch (bitch)_

_We drinking Santana champ, cause it's so crisp (crisp)_

_I got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies_

_I'm flippin burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin copies_

_I'm ridin on a dolphin, doin flips and shit_

_This dolphin's splashin, gettin e'rybody all wet_

_But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets_

_I'm on a boat motherfucker, don't you ever forget_

_I'm on a boat and, it's goin fast and_

_I got a nautical themed pashmina afghan_

_I'm the king of the world, on a boat like Leo_

_If you're on the shore, then you're sho' not me-oh_

_{Get the fuck up, this boat is real}_

_Fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker (motherfucker)_

_Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker (motherfucker)_

_I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker (yeah)_

_The boat engine make noise, motherfucker_

_Hey ma, if you could see me now (see me now)_

_Arms spread wide on the starboard bow (starboard bow)_

_Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow (moon somehow)_

_Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible_

_[T-Pain]_

_Yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat_

_It's a big blue watery road (yeah)_

_Poseidon, Look at me, oh (all hands on deck)_

_Never thought I'd see the day_

_When a big boat comin my way_

_Believe me when I say, I fucked a mermaid_

_[Chorus]_

_I'm on a boat_

_I'm on a boat_

_Everybody look at me cause im sailin on a boat_

_I'm on a boat_

_I'm on a boat_

_Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin boat_

_[T-Pain]_

_Whoahhh_

_Sha-sha-shorty, shorty_

_Yeah yeah yeahhh_

"So, that was wierd." Alucard, shaking his head at the priest's ringtone. A priest! Then he noticed a grin. "Seras, you may be my mate, but you scare me sometimes."

Her grin grew wider. "Honey?"

He raised an eyebrow. If she called him anything besides Vlad or Alucard, he knew something bad was about to....what did the song say? Oh yes, be 'going down'.

"Yes, darling?" He asked, leaning back a bit in case she decided to go commando on him.

She just smiled gently. "What do you think if we sent his phone to Enrico Maxwell and then called the phone to tell the priest that he lost it....innocently."

He grinned maniacally. "You can be so adorably cruel, sometimes, darling. But that's why I love you."

She leaned forward, kissed him on the left cheek, and then he transported it to Enrico Maxwell's desk. He then smirked and called the phone.

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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